Checkmark.
When I was little, the best games to play were “house” and “school”.
School was always my favourite.
I’d gather scraps of paper and my markers and pencils, and i’d organize them all into neat piles for my students. I’d bring out the chalkboard and my stepping stool so that I could stand at the front of the classroom and preach my ABC’s for all to hear. Then I’d collect all my notebooks and mark everybody’s work.
Checkmark, checkmark, checkmark.
Teaching all of my imaginary pupils was one of the highlights of my days. I stood there dreaming that someday, when I grew up, I would be one of those students in my own desk.And then, maybe someday far after that, those imaginary students would actually be sitting in desks in front of me, and in my red pen I would go “checkmark, checkmark, checkmark” beside all of their scribbly answers.
But then I went through 10 years of elementary school. And another 4 of high school. And now I’m working on my 3rd in University.
And although I don’t so much want to be a teacher anymore (maybe someday…), I still get the same excitement about going to school everyday as I used to when I was little. I have no problem waking up for those early classes, because I legitimately love to learn new things. It’s lame to say that I crave knowledge, but when I have the summers off, all I think about is how badly I want to be back at school.
School has taken up a lot of my life, and I love that it’s constantly changing - new classes, new professors, new assignments. When I graduate (and when I talk about graduating, I’m talking about “oh-my-god I graduate next year, WHAT!?), I think I’ll be lost without this routine of school. What am I supposed to do? Wake up, go to work, come home, eat & sleep - EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?!
I’m not so sure I’m cut out for that. I’m cut out for school. Forever. No changing.
How will I ever prepare myself to make that huge transition from doing something I absolutely love to finding something out there that is potentially better and more fulfilling than what I’ve already got?
It’s scary. I want to grow up but I want to stay the same forever.
