Lately…
Here is something I struggle with:
Everyday, I read the same handful of blogs. Blogs where these totally inspirational, and fabulous women talk about fashion and city life, and living their dreams, and I really love reading about it, especially because mostly these women share their lives which are full of love. The love they’ve found in their husbands, or their families. Their relationships sound so dream-like and healthy and happy, but in all these smiles and full hearts I find myself sitting in front of my computer dealing with conflicting messages.
Everyday, I wake up and I go about my duties - school, homework, job, family, boyfriend, housemates - and I look at my life and I think “wow, I’m not doing half-bad here”. Everything so far is working out pretty well. But then I look around me and I see all of these broken relationships. People on the cusp of divorce, or heading towards a break-up, or still getting over a break-up, and it makes me question everything.
I read on the internet all these ideal lifestyles where everything is written to sound so impecably wonderful. But then I take a look at real life, and nothing is ever as good as it’s been written to be. How am I supposed to gauge my goals realistically when there is no happy medium? Do I strive to have that totally happy relationship with no problems at all, or should I just expect to be one of the 50% of people who end up in divorce? If I go about expecting the worst, I’m afraid the worst will happen, but if I go about expecting the best, I am not bound to be let down?
So the thing I struggle with is figuring out where I want to fall, and how I’m going to make it happen. I want to actually live that blog-perfect life and not the real-life I’ve been exposed to. I struggle with finding a way to do that, and making myself believe that it’s possible.
